What does it feel like??

What does it feel like to be alone? I can’t surely find the answer to that question. There hasn’t been a moment when I’m left alone. Hounded by a million thoughts of the path that I take, the people I cherish, is this really it? My life is outlined by assumptions, is it working for me? Questions lay unanswered. Thinking about people assuming they’ll think of me too. Why not? They may be thinking about me, but the intensity is not seen. I fail to understand myself and my thoughts. Does life work for me or do I work towards making a life out of existence. The next thing I know is talking the walls about what could be. Why not? Walls have ears they say... You never know... Twenty years from now they might start talking. Again... it’s the wait... And before you know... bang! Life’s gone!

Its all about..

If only it was easy to break someone’s heart, I would be the one doing it time and again.
There’s a certain sense of satisfaction I assume, when people mercilessly break someone’s heart, not with words, not with deeds but with thoughts.
Most of the time, the person indulging himself in a heartbreak is clueless as he invades someone else’s thought to hammer the emotions. One does trust, but with the same trust has a sly thought. If one claims to trust, then why does he question?
Trust, a word few live by. Love a word, and merely a word I must say. I haven’t been a part of the either, Love nor trust.
I’ve never trusted, nor have I have loved. Yes, to those who think maybe the romantic that I am, I must clarify, that this love bug has almost eaten up my brain cells.
Thinking of what can be, I must say, that if ever someone pushed me into being a part of the Love Façade, I wouldn’t be hesitant!
If only, there would be ‘one’ frog prince I wouldn’t be a slight timid in showering him with the kisses, but aha! Here’s the catch, if he isn’t the prince, I hope he can remain the frog that he is.

the Temptress..

I guess I am born again! In my last birth I was Dorian Gray, a character Oscar Wilde gave birth to. Born again as a girl who perfectly understands the life that Dorian Gray lived. People called me a coward, which meant I dint live the life I was meant to. Only I know that wasn’t true. When Henry told me how precious youth was, all I wanted to do was to preserve it, and that is what I did. I preserved my portrait which Basil my best friend painted. I dint grow old after that, but my picture did.
I killed Basil with my own hands! He was my best friend and I had the right to. But I killed Sibyl, my love, which killed me in turn. She killed herself, for I had killed the love we had. I was left alone, I thought of tearing apart the picture that captured the youth or the power of me. I killed me not realizing that the picture was actually me!
I’m born again as a girl. A second chance to life I must say, but here again, I’m trying to preserve the youth that’s fading away. Before living my youth, I’m thinking about how I will let it leave me. Is this life or just mere rebirth?
"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it , Resist it and the soul grows sick with longing." The temptation called youth, just isnt letting me live!

My Inspiration..

"[Hollywood is] a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul."

Marilyn Monroe remains my idol.

Relationships!!

A relationship, for me is the most beautiful thing one can experience. The dictionary meaning of Relation is 'emotional association between people'. Each and every relation has certain feelings behind them. Relationships happen and sometimes don't work out. Human beings have the tendency to fall in love with two or more people at different times. 'Pleasure' is a one word definition for the modern world relationship.
Nowadays the value of true relations is understood by very few. The trend of 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' has become common. Sometimes we see that there is absolutely no connectivity between the two involved in the so called relation. Have emotions completely lost the importance in a relationship?
Relationships are those lovely pieces of life which we must cherish. When one becomes young that is the time when he experiences the first love affair with life. Youth is the time when one feels free to reach out to others. As one steps out of his adolescence he feels confident to approach people. As they say… “Friendships form, Relationships happen."
Sometimes, for people who are in the same class for a long time, the cupid seems to wing in. The girl and the boy go out. A few meetings and they decide on to 'go around'. What does this 'going around' actually mean? The young generation seems to get out of relationships even more than they get in them. Friendships and relationships are so easy nowadays. The impression that our hip-hop and hopscotch youths are cut off from their emotional parts proves difficult to ward off. The youth in the metros seem to be trying to adapt the western relationship patterns. As soon as they develop a liking for somebody they tend to rush themselves into serious relationships when they don't even understand each others sentiments fully. Communication and conversations are less and hence may be the main cause of failed relationships. Most of the young lot gets into relationships only to satisfy their physical needs. The main need of the relationship, the value of the relationship is not understood very well by the crowd.
If you really love someone never let go, don't believe that letting go means that you love best, and instead fight for your love, that's what true love is. In love, very rarely do we win but when love is true, even if you lose, you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love yourself. Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how you understand, not what you see but how you feel and not how you let go but how you hold on. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who are hurt those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched their lives.
We are all a little weird and life's a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. It is this weirdness’ i believe in... So... to all the lovers...LOVE is the message!!

The Mistress Of Spices!! -- Impressive!!

Very rarely do we come across Novels that make us realize the true beauty of a woman. Ms. Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni introduces us with a lovely woman who has troubles in choosing her love or abiding by the duties that she has undertaken. A woman has many roles to play, but letting her heart rule over her mind or making her mind make decisions on her man, is what this story revolves around. Love often is misinterpreted as lust but here, the usage of the ‘mistress’ is purely to express the emotions of a woman to her art. Chitra expresses her very realistic approach regarding the woman of substance with the instance of Tilo, an Indian woman, bestowed with supernatural powers and the right knowledge of spices by and old lady. Tilo runs a Grocery store in another land and provides her customers with remedies for their woes with the help of spices. Just the way spices add taste to the food she believes the character of a person is related to each of the spices in her store. Curing the homesickness of the families staying away from home in an alien land she finds herself in a predicament when she falls in Love with a Man from the foreign land. She has to make her choice in choosing her lover or her love for the spices and her duties. The novel revolves around how Tilo manages to make her decision and satisfy the urge of romance in her life without letting the loyalties she owes to her profession and also to the faith through which she was imparted with the magical powers. In this fictitious story about an Indian in modern day Oakland, the author bridges the distance between the heart of a sensuous woman and the mind of a giver to her art. With the correct blend of sensuality, desires and horror, Chitra reveals the true Mistress of Spices!

""You once said you would change the world for me.., chuck the world! You said you would bring out a difference for me! You claimed to love me! You claimed to care for me! And then there was a day.., when I woke up to find people looking at me with amusement, they clicked pictures.., was I famous?! Was I the one in a big car?! When I was born mom took me around... she loved me... dad loved me too... only he dint know how to show. My sisters loved me.., but I dint see them for long. My brother was around for some time... but don’t know... Guess he left for some work. A nice man took him to work. We had a big house... no1 ever lived in such big houses. But my friends and I did.
Then one day... mommy said I had played enough and called me home. She said someone got me chocolates. He did. Nice man.., he loved me too... he touched me tenderly. For a long time... He met me everyday. He got chocolates. Mommy told me to love him. She said he was nice. He was really nice. She said I was a big girl. And big girls were touched by men who loved them. All the men who touched me loved me. And they did. They loved me. They got me good things. They got me other men to love. I loved everybody. And then the people in uniform came and took me away. Now I’m here. Away from mommy and daddy. They tell me they are here too... but they don’t meet me. They say I am a bad girl. Am I bad for obeying mommy? You said you would help me... Nobody did. But mommy stayed with me throughout. She cried for me... you dint. Mommy was loved too... She cried too... for herself. Nobody helped her? Then why am I in the papers today?! Why do my neighbors and friends throw stones at me?! ""


I wrote this piece when I read an article in the papers. A 12 yr old makes it big in the papers as she was into “prostitution”. She was a roadside dweller. People throwing stones..., media clicking pictures. Why? How does one react to this? Read it and tell your family of how bad the city gets. Not one person has the guts to stand up. Stand up for? Would a 12 yr old have the brains to make money over selling off her womanhood? Unanswered questions... stay the same.