Betrayed

Yet again another fall. I stopped, stumbled and walked again. After denial, I somehow accepted that this certainly wasnt something that life bought on me, it was something I bought on myself. Once again I wanted to hate every thought that made me want what I wanted.
I did my best. I did the rest. I never did a No.

My thoughts and me had betrayed every thought that wasnt mine.

The Wall

The Wall was strong. It was the only one I ever saw. It held the news from over the world, but marked with the dreams of one. The wall had seen it all happening. I stood and told the wall that never again would I stand infront of it and speak. It had seen me the way I was. But I never wanted to stand there again.
But the cruel wall spoke.. years later.. it influenced the thoughts like a treasure which was cursed. The wall had never crumbled, but my thoughts it did. I hated the wall.. I loved the moment.. I was a child then to love it.. I was a grown up now to want it.

Frank Talk..

Anegls could fly, Angels could be walk, but never thought angels could sit down with you across a coffee table for a cup of coffee. Funny it was. He sat down and discussed years. In real terms, he spoke about heaven and earth. A certain something about him was scary, a certain something unbelievable. A mortal soul, yet set so free? Why? What to believe and what not to believe?
He was a murderer.
He walked with soldiers. No one could dare get closer. He pretended to be the nicest. He was cruel to himself.

The angel was powerful.

What a wonderful world..

The most powerful song I've ever heard.

Never

If i asked you to stay, would u? Never. Never. Never was just for Never. It never mattered whether it was me asking you to stay. I was always miles away.
If i asked you to wait a while, would u? Never, and emotion again.

What was this that made me never want to meet you yet cry to make you stay. Its never goin to matter to you. Never. The word again. I'll have everythin tomorrow the way you have today. But I'll stay and want you. If i want you then, would you want me now? Never.

I'm angry today

I'm very angry today. Its like i woke up from the most beautiful dream i ever had. Like a child that wakes up in the midnight and finds himself alone facing the dark. I hated my ever thought today. I sat in a crowd smilin and dreamin of a thought that perhaps never could have been true. The truth slapped me rude in the face. The dream was rite there staring at my face, while i starred back with a smile. It wasnt my dream but i longed to sleep again. Maybe this time.. something. But it'll never happen. The dream was never mine. It always belonged to someone else, but i only adored it like a child. I waited, i wanted and i wished.

Can it never be mine. Cant it be true? Cant it be just a moment. Was I selfish. What was I? Never wht i wanted to be. Again a shadow wanting to be a part of the night. I was angry with myself today. I was angry for being me.

More than a month since words were exchanged. It was strange, but this time I was stranger. I hadnt attempted to let anyone in my enclave. Scared was I? Nothing changed, except that perhaps, I hated the feeling.

I cried, angered every moment, and wished there was just once one everything had become normal. why was i misunderstood? why was i the loser again?
why was i wat i was today?