What is more important to you the love you share, the memories you have or the lover?

Reading my post's put many in a dilemma.. the answer to their trillion dollar remains ... Yes! I'm very much Single :)

I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you're the greatest man on earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with other people, and in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you rule, and never get that they just met the simplest man alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good, about me.

I looked into his eyes again today.. seemed like nothing had changed. Was it the same story that Alice experienced in wonderland? What is this Mad Hatter upto anyways?

He cant be taken.. I tried.. but he flutters away. I desperately try to hate him, thats the only escape I have. Maybe this is the despair of my human life. There is something so agonizing yet so beautiful of this superficial relationship I share with this immortal taken soul. Surrounded with his jesters, he's rules like a king from the tales. His sight makes me weak, but his words make me strong. Is this what they name as intermediate love? Maybe or Maybe not..

V

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leaveI wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have.... All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me....

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

We all can be childish in matters of heart! The way he takes charge of his life thrills me! I want the power for myself. But whenever I see him around, I feel like an outsider desperately trying to get in. He has a big big heart..

He see's what the world does to me, and he promises to change the way they do. He promises he'll try. I love his mind and he loves mine. I have asked myselef this question a million times, but maybe yes, I lack somewhere that makes me lose on these wonderful souls around me. He maybe thinks I'm needy. But, isnt that what love is actually about? Giving yourself over to someone elses needs? Thats what i'm trying to do. But is he willing to do it for me? Perhaps, theres no answer to that. I dont think what i do is a sin. Hurting someone intentionally - thats a sin. Merely relishing it - a big sin! Maybe, I too will remain a frightened child of the past.

All i will want from him is to be mended, healed and made whole...

~ To betray you must first belong ~