V

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leaveI wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have.... All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me....

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

We all can be childish in matters of heart! The way he takes charge of his life thrills me! I want the power for myself. But whenever I see him around, I feel like an outsider desperately trying to get in. He has a big big heart..

He see's what the world does to me, and he promises to change the way they do. He promises he'll try. I love his mind and he loves mine. I have asked myselef this question a million times, but maybe yes, I lack somewhere that makes me lose on these wonderful souls around me. He maybe thinks I'm needy. But, isnt that what love is actually about? Giving yourself over to someone elses needs? Thats what i'm trying to do. But is he willing to do it for me? Perhaps, theres no answer to that. I dont think what i do is a sin. Hurting someone intentionally - thats a sin. Merely relishing it - a big sin! Maybe, I too will remain a frightened child of the past.

All i will want from him is to be mended, healed and made whole...

~ To betray you must first belong ~

Words from a stranger:

Dear Friend,

Putting up your mail here, just so that people can read it to understand you too :) Thanks for the kind words

Manali

A mail me received:

well...wht to start wth..bt today mistakenly i peeped into some1's innerself and guess wht i saw..thr is som1 who is atlst a better thinker and approchable thn this dark illusion!!well...a full lenght sketch of som1 has been portrayed...bt..its like a tangled lines..reluctant to gve a shape...a thought bt jst striving wthout knowing whr they r heading for...i really wud hav appreciated if i; represntng a whole slot of people, woudl hav taken wth a feelng tht they also exist...intangibly..if nt really....n thr is no pt to be confined in a shell bt to b a bit expressive sometimes..we talk bt relationshp/frndshp n all...bt still a bit skeptical bt ourslf...is this wt som1's says a helpless n unwinding feelng? naah...only a utter silence evrywhr provoking people to b comfrbtle whle expressing....i dont write things till the time i really dont feel them popping inside..i hav tried to write these lines to the extent tht only u wud b able to get wt i wanna say...bt billoo......keep smiling!!

I've seen the end, before it ever began..
The best part is that he wont break my heart.. I know.. He never will.. he can break a heart thats already broken.
People like me know to survive. I know when to kiss and i know when to kill. There isnt any point in living when what you can never do is feel life.

Now is when I actually start to feel.. friendships form, but relationship's happen!

What I See..

Life.. suprisingly untangled this time :)
its when my world came crashing down did I see that the universe was a better place to be in..!

Suddenly, life seems to be introducing an angel, in disguise of a taken soul! Whatever that may be, its the universe that i see ..

" Long years ago we made a tryst with destiny, and now the time comes when we will redeem our pledge, not wholly or in full measure, but very substantially. At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom. A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, when an age ends and when the soul of a nation, long suppressed, finds utterance .... We end today a period of ill fortune, and India discovers herself again."

1947 - Jawaharlal Nehru

{get inspired}